am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
