okay pat passed out under dana's car
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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