Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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