my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Naked. naked and bneed help.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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