I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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