dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
