margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
