I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
