Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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