On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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