I'm lost and stupid without you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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