And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
