are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
