Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
