Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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