everyone is single if you try hard enough
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
