whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
