My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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