and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
