Jerry, you need to find god
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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