I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
