Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize