I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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