I am in a vortex of obligation.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
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We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
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You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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