Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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