Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Congratulations! We have a period
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
