There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
