I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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