why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
