you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
third nipple confirmed
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
