Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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