Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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