I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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