the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
