so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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