Where is the hickey?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
be right there i have to get my cape
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
