Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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