took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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