If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
