the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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