it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
