Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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