; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Boobs speak an international language.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
