I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We talked him into tasing himself.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
