Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
