i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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