i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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