My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
