This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
