It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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