If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Randomize
