Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He shit in the fireplace
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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