it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
