There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
