dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
