I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize