I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
