I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Sorry about my life...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
