I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
