Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
