so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
