I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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