no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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