he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize