how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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