I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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