Taylor Swift is so right about you.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
